Sunday April 10th By Sean
The morning light filtering through the windows was blinding.
“Mm…” Dean stirred awake, rubbing his eyes as he stretched and blinked blearily at the clock. ‘9.15 AM’ he read in bright blue font across its face. He sighed contentedly, basking in his warmth from the soft duvet tucked around him, but something nagged at his conscious mind that made it difficult to drift back to sleep.
Something tickled at his memory and he turned his head slightly, trying to focus on the source of the sensation.
His gaze fell upon a small black dog curled up under his pillow. It seemed very familiar for some reason.
Wait. He knew where he’d seen this dog before!
His eyes widened as it dawned on him. That had to be the same little black ball of fluff from his dreams.
“Hello Castiel,” he mumbled, stroking the sleeping dog with his knuckle. The dog whined softly, stretching lazily beneath his fingers. Dean laughed a little as he felt Castiel’s tongue licking his hand before settling once more beside his ear, resting its head on Dean’s thigh.
He couldn’t help but smile. If he were being honest, he didn’t even think it could happen but here they were, a fluffy, happy little dog and their own apartment. A real apartment that wasn’t an abandoned warehouse or a dingy motel room. And they weren’t hiding anymore.
Now they had friends, family, a home. Dean still felt a little nervous, unsure how he should act around Sam and Cas – especially Cas – if he came back from Hell – or Heaven – as they called it these days. But so far things hadn’t been too bad. Not like they’d expected it to be, anyway.
Dean ran his hand down Castiel’s body as he thought about what they had come out of all this for.
For Sam of course. For Cas of course. Even for himself though, who’d always wanted a home. Who’d never known the love and acceptance of people like Sam, his sister Jess, Sammy and now Cas.
They’d all come a long way. They were doing good. Dean wouldn’t give anything up for either one of them, not ever. They belonged together.
And there would always be another road to travel.
There were still a few things left behind, still a lot that he needed to deal with and fix. But for today, they had a house to live in, people they loved and who loved them. No more monsters, no more fighting. No more fighting to save the world.
Nothing else mattered. Just them and their happiness and each other.
Sam watched nervously as Castiel walked away from the door of the motel room. He knew exactly why Cas had chosen this particular hotel. The Winchesters had stayed there several times before when they went camping or hunting. They had also spent many nights staying in motels during college and high school. There were plenty of memories in that building and Sam just hoped none of those memories included him.
Castiel stopped abruptly and looked back at Sam and Dean. His eyes softened for a moment before he shook his head and continued walking towards Sam.
Sam took a deep breath as he held out his hand for Castiel to grasp. He’d waited over two years to finally have Castiel back in his life again and even after almost five years apart, it felt like nothing could possibly change between the two brothers.
But there was one thing missing. One person, one soul.
Sam felt tears prickling at the back of his eyes as Cas placed one hand on Sam’s shoulder and the other in his own. The touch sent tingles racing through both of them, making Sam want to lean into the embrace and close his eyes, take comfort in the feel of Cas pressed against him. But instead of pulling away, Sam stood frozen and stared at Cas with tears streaming down his cheeks.
Castiel frowned. “Sammy? What is it? You are crying. Do you regret it? I understand if you do. This must seem rather strange since I was gone for quite some time.”
“No!” Sam rushed forward, cupping Cas’s face. “Of course not. I’m so happy to see you again and so much has happened.”
Castiel smiled and wiped away Sam’s tears with the pad of his thumb. “I am so happy to see you as well, Sam,” he said quietly. He looked into Sam’s eyes and swallowed. “If I may speak frankly. After you left me I did some thinking. A lot of thinking. About everything. About my actions and our relationship. And, well….I came to realize that I was wrong. All those years ago. I was afraid and angry and jealous, but I never saw myself the way you did. And now…” Castiel paused, searching Sam’s eyes for some sign of understanding. Finding none he sighed, dropping his gaze to look at their joined hands. “Now I understand completely.”
“What do you mean?” Sam asked cautiously, looking into Cas’s blue eyes. “About everything you’ve told me?”
Cas lifted his gaze to meet Sam’s again, smiling sadly. “You were right. When we first met. When I tried to kill you. Or at least tried to. I wasn’t who you thought I was. And when you realized that…you were right.”
Sam bit back a sob, squeezing Cas’s hands gently. “Cas, don’t say that.”
“It’s true Sam,” Cas insisted. “After spending so many years alone…I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t know how to love. At least in the beginning I didn’t.” Cas sighed heavily. “When I met you and you touched me, I understood. Everything. Love isn’t something to be taken lightly or denied because you can’t handle the responsibility of loving someone in return.”
“Well maybe…maybe you’re supposed to let others decide whether or not you deserve to be loved. I don’t believe that, Cas,” Sam insisted, gripping Cas’s hands tighter. He was so proud of how far they’d come. So proud that they had managed to overcome what was sure to be their biggest struggles. And it showed in the fact that neither one of them had given up. Neither one of them regretted their choice in the end.